@savagehippy: I'm raising my child to believe there were only 3 'Star Wars' movies.
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@KyleMcDowell86: [Elephant at a party] Nice piano! [me] thanks [Elephant] What are the keys made of? [Me] Uhh.. [Rhino appears behind me] Tell him Kyle
@JohnLyonTweets: Me: I'll drink to that! Person who brought me to church: [whispers] We usually just say "Amen."