@shakenbakegurl: I'm really bad at measuring the correct amount of pasta, so if you and 79 of your friends want spaghetti tonight, come on over.
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@U_Want_Shum_M8: I finally figured out the moral of Beauty and the Beast: Sure,Gaston had good looks. But the Beast had shitloads of money.Good choice, Belle
@shwebby3: Went off roading with my prius but ended up getting stuck on a bonsai tree in neighbor's front yard
@MartaEffing: I got arrested for being drunk and disorderly, but I was just laughing hysterically at the cost of organic vegetables.
@TheMichaelRock: Don't be scared of the government shutdown, liquor stores are run by the states.