@sixfootcandy: My husband thinks it's funny how I have nothing to wear until I pack 4 suitcases for a trip.

@TheToddWilliams: "It seems like many polls are turning against you. How do you respond?" TRUMP: They should be sent back to Poland. Very dangerous people.

@matt___nelson: [me narrating a documentary on urchins] "look at these boring moist porcupines"

@undeadmolly: Not usually a big fan of God, but I have admit telling Cruz to run for president then making him lose to a reality TV clown was an A+ prank.

@Cheeseboy22: If you try to rob my house, you should know that the item in the house I paid the most for are my son's braces.