@BlackCatBettie: I'm really bad at portioning uncooked pasta...so if you and 110 of your friends wanna come over, dinner is ready.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AnOrangeSNES: When life gives you lemons, worship the elder Gods. Take candy from a baby. Drink from a trough of blood. Who cares? None of this matters
@jbillinson: Obama: Tell Joe why he can't booby trap the White H- Biden: Now hold on a second, just know that no matter what you say I'm doing it anyways
@MatCro: GF: I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective. We should split up ME: Good idea. We can cover more ground that way.
@realHamOnWry: Kids should think twice about threatening to run away from home. It only fills their parents with false hope.