@NotJPo: In my house there are 5 females, 9423 pony tail holders, 49 bottles of nail polish, 8 justin bieber posters & 1 very patient, worn down man.

@newLettuce: Date: I enjoy living here, but I do miss West Virginia Me: *excited* MOUNTAIN MAMMAAAA Date: Would you please stop doing that every time I say West Virg- Me: MOUNTAIN MAMMAAAA Date: Ugh, please just take me home Me: *ecstatic* COUNTRY ROOOADS

@Spaziotwat: OF COURSE IT'S A GENUINE BEETHOVEN! Look at those brush strokes, the stunning use of colour.

@offbeatoliv: Scotch neat please Umm...this is a Starbucks *sigh Ok a scotch "grande"

@YuckyTom: “...and this is my beautiful boy, Jason.” Coworker: Jason, huh? Where’d u get a name like that? Boss: Jafather, can I see u in my office?