@zachreinert03: I'm really glad they named a park bench after my uncle in memorial. It fits, he was great at having homeless ppl sleep on top of him
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@NYC_Blonde: I enjoy April Fool's Day because I like responding to fake pregnancy announcement texts with "no wonder you've been looking chubby".
@better_off_dad: 13: Can I have the password for Amazon? Me: Certainly, honey. Ready? 13: Yep Me: I-N-Y-O-U-R-D-R-E-A-M-S
@Sassafrantz: Ghosts are pretty cool because they can literally do anything they want, but they choose to hide my keys.
@MariyaAlexander: Swimming is my favorite recreational activity that's also a desperate attempt not to die