@AnkCoupleTO: I'm reexamining my life after buying 63 pounds of unsalted butter because it seems a little weird even by my standards
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@curlycomedy: At a restaurant I thought a family was praying at the table but then I realized they were all texting.
@Cheeseboy22: I keep seeing studies finding fecal matter on things. Anyone considered that perhaps it's the scientists that aren't washing their hands?
@ObscureGent: Nobody discretely coughs blood into a handkerchief while wearing a top hat anymore.
@kcmoore51: Oh you're in the shower? Here's the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode