@AnkCoupleTO: I'm reexamining my life after buying 63 pounds of unsalted butter because it seems a little weird even by my standards
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Jenny4ashley: Boss: Are you high? Me: If I was high could I do this? *teleports two inches to the right*
@pro_failure: My dog just ate a butterfly and probably saved Tokyo from a tidal wave. I don't understand science.
@Curly_gurl135: Just got every hair on my body waxed off except eyebrows and head. I look like a naked mole rat. Men, come & get me if you're into rodents.
@blaha_Who: My main goal in life is to become a cooking show judge Mostly because I like to criticize people while I eat