@AnkCoupleTO: I'm reexamining my life after buying 63 pounds of unsalted butter because it seems a little weird even by my standards
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@TheMichaelRock: My boss said to "treat customers like you treat your mother", so I haven't answered my phone in a month and I have 74 unheard voicemails.
@KyleMcDowell86: *buys roofies, slips then into girlfriends drink, plays video games for 8 hours straight in peace and quiet*
@KentWGraham: My son got me some very expensive cologne for Father’s Day. I know it was very expensive because he used my credit card.