@Schmoodles: I'm responsible for 84% of all cat videos currently available on YouTube.
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@danfishbach: Give a man a fish and chances are you won't be asked to be in charge of buying a gift "from all of us" anymore.
@WouldbeAllen: Midwife: It's a boy, ma'am. Mrs Dickens: Edward. Edward's a nice name, isn't it, dear? Dickens: LET'S CALL HIM OPPROBRIOUS FRILLYBOCKER
@Cheeseboy22: I put two pairs of cargo pants in my cargo pants pockets, just in case I need more cargo pants.
@Buncahn: [boy spreads his little arms] Boy: i love you this much daddy! Neil deGrasse Tyson: on a universal scale, that is an alarmingly small amount