@shariv67: I'm rubber. You're glue. He's glitter. She's decoupage. Welcome to our crafting gang.
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@HiddleDeeDee: I accidentally flushed a public toilet with my hand instead of my foot. I may be dying now.
@SafyHallanFarah: if i was a character in a horror movie i would try to finish whatever i'm eating before i die
@djangogold: if you can't handle me at my worst, you're probably that gutless Outback Steakhouse shift manager who called the cops on me last night
@BangMyBongo: Asking your mom, "Will there be any pretty girls coming?" Is a good way of getting out of going to your family reunion..