@jenlaw_11: I'm rubber, you're glue. I'm destroying the planet and you are made of dead horses
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@HatfieldAnne: For two years in high school, I took guitar lessons. Something interesting I learned is that guitar resale nets a 45% loss.
@bobvulfov: (getting into a hot tub full of people) i guess we're making some people soup huh gang
@ArfMeasures: BOSS: Why aren't these documents attached together? ME: Sorry I couldn't find my...[suddenly forgets the word stapler]...desk crocodile
@Carter_TCB: One time I accidentally gave my cat acid. Thought he would really freak out but he just looked at me calmly and said meow for 10 hours.