@Fickle_Filly: Losing your spouse can be hard. But it's not impossible.

@iwearaonesie: 9: Why are you hitting that spider? wife: I don't like spiders me: Ooooh *grabs newspaper* mother-in-law [leaving] I don't have to take this

@Beer4AGoodTime: I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive, "Hi".

@DaddyJew: Interviewer: what interests you about this job? Me: the pay Interviewer: can you be more specific? Me: cash

@AristotlesNZ: Me: I said no cookies! 4yo: I forgot. Maybe I have amnesia! Me: How'd you get amnesia? 4yo:.. Me:.. 4yo: I don't remember. Me: Well played..