@WhatevaConc: Not now ex-boyfriend. Someone favorited 2 of my tweets. I'm a huge deal around there now & you lost your chance. Just kidding. What time?

@954LeenO: Most days I wish I were an octopus so I could slap 8 people at once.

@iHayfa: Monsters won't stop chasing me. I don't wanna play today dammit!

@LurkAtHomeMom: Me: *checking into maternity ward* Hey, so remember that time when you took the baby so I could sleep? Nurse: Ma'am, this child is seven.

@Sickayduh: My cat's tongue is like a little piece of sandpaper. I'm scratched to hell but this floor is almost finished.