@shutupmikeginn: I'm scared of the pesticides on this produce, so I guess I'll run them under cold water for half a second
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@Cravin4: Son:Dad's trick or treating as a ghost in a bed sheet? Wife:& heels,eye patch & his hand stuck in a Nutella jar. More like a ghost on ambien
@TheDjinnTrials: If used correctly, Twitter can be used as an antidepressant. Just don't take it as a suppository.
@ConorTripler: my GOTH DAD license plate is not a vanity plate it is a coincidence. random string of letters. could ve happened to a dad without eyeliner