@shutupmikeginn: I'm scared of the pesticides on this produce, so I guess I'll run them under cold water for half a second
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@comer310: Me: Who will I share the sunset with now?! *sobs* Friend: Bad breakup? Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.
@WheelTod: Batman: Damn! Someone needs me! Date: That's not the bat signal! Batman: Date:You're just doing shadow puppettry on the wall with your hands
@shkeeber: Him: I'm tolerant of the gay lifestyle. A neighbor of mine was gay. Me: Thanks. I'm tolerant of yours too. A neighbor of mine was an idiot.
@skullmandible: hot singles are in your area, merging together into a plurality, a hot leviathan. the time for chat is over. this is not your area anymore