@shopkins776: I'm scared some kid is going to break into my house and fleek me to death with a bae
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@GrumpyBahr: If at first you don't succeed you will get a lot of advice from people who didn't succeed either.
@DillDoes: Monkey: "We're not so different" Me: "Did that monkey just talk to me" Monkey: "Monkey noise" Me: "Did it just say 'monkey noise'?"
@Cheeseboy22: My son found a SEVEN leaf clover on the neighbor's back porch! I don't have the heart to tell him that it's really a marijuana leaf.
@Dutch_50: Co-worker insists on talking with his mouth full. No one can ever understand him. Wish we had a dentist was in the house to interpret.