@shopkins776: I'm scared some kid is going to break into my house and fleek me to death with a bae
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@StephenBCramer: My sister is holding her baby in one hand and a cup of Starbucks in the other, I'm going to toss her phone at her to see who gets dropped.
@AimeeHelene1: (Gamblers Anonymous meeting) Leader: Bob, tell us why you're here. Me: $20 it's a Blackjack addiction. Group: *all rushing to place bets*
@GingerGander: There is a vast difference between an underdog and a loser, the first one has a real chance to win.
@JohnLyonTweets: "I will look for you. I will find you. And I will kill you." -Liam Neeson opening a Where's Waldo book