@JohnLyonTweets: I'm scared to open any email with a photo attachment because of all this talk about photobombing.
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@SteveSuckington: If a serial killer commits suicide, you can console his family by saying, "hey, at least he died doing what he loved"
@david_tull: Wow, according to the New York Times, just kidding, I have no idea what's going on.
@GloriaFallon123: My daughter is such a happy little person she giggles in her sleep, which makes me worry that somehow she's not my biological offspring
@freypalm: *montage of me teaching a penguin to do everything my son Brian can do* Wife: Where's Brian? Me: [studying her closely] He's… right here?