@snmrrw: i'm selfie-employed. yes sir i'll make a duck-face. right away sir.
@Cait_Plus_Eight: I childproofed my house, but they keep getting in.
@BoogTweets: *Getting pulled over*
Me: I knew we should have Uber’d
My dog: *stopping the car* Jus be cool
@Social_Mime: If somebody my age is out past 11 PM they just got off the second shift at work.
@ARealTinderella: Whenever I tinker with the idea of a having a relationship, I go spend a night with my married friends.
@Adyaces: It's all about how much devastation you can leave in your wake.