@snmrrw: i'm selfie-employed. yes sir i'll make a duck-face. right away sir.
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@protolalia: It's sad when your closest friends get remarried and you know it'll be another 2-5 years before they're single and ready to hang out again.
@ArfMeasures: AIR STEWARDESS [looks at ticket] just down that way ME: You mean down the long thin tube with one walkway A.S: Yes ME: I'd be lost without u
@okaypup: "Do not purchase if seal is broke" *looks over at homeless seal* *places canned pickles back on the shelf*