@Blarebare: I'm seriously considering taking up falconry. Someone pisses me off? BAM! Falcon, right in the face.
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@iwearaonesie: *wife walks over to me* *cups my face with her hands* *looks me in the eye* "Why is there a mousetrap in the fridge?"
@MiahSaint: This Kit Kat commercial is making some awfully big assumptions about both my generosity and number of friends.
@TheAliciaKraft: STEVE: you misspelled my name ME: Oh uh it's a joke LATER, TO STOVE: I'll make you another cake when he leaves