@baeblacksheep: I'm shaking my hands to get my nail polish to dry and now this deaf guy outside wants to know how the story ends.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@fart: what's cool about Mitt Romney is that when you put politics aside he's still a genuinely detestable person
@lenadunham: Who, you ask, turns the AC on during a polar vortex? Sociopaths, fascist dictators, my boyfriend.
@Marl_TheBean: I know it's rude to ask someone about their pregnancy if you're unsure, but my hubby looks about 4 months along & the suspense is killing me
@NYC_Blonde: I enjoy April Fool's Day because I like responding to fake pregnancy announcement texts with "no wonder you've been looking chubby".