@baeblacksheep: I'm shaking my hands to get my nail polish to dry and now this deaf guy outside wants to know how the story ends.
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@markydoodoo: GF: that spoon is still dirty ME: but I just got it out of the dishwasher GF: I can see the mayo on it ME: yeah but it's clean mayo now
@nachosarah: if we're on a date and you're rude to the waiter I'd be like holy shit I'm on a date
@audipenny: I am dressed in all grey and a man also dressed in all grey just stared at me and for a second I got very nervous that he thought I was him
@MarlonBrandNO: Blind Date: SWEET JESUS I DONT HAVE ANY EYES Me: Of course you don't, you're a date Blind Date: WHAT Me: Kind of like a big raisin