@baeblacksheep: I'm shaking my hands to get my nail polish to dry and now this deaf guy outside wants to know how the story ends.
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@aka_fatman: "...so when the plane crashed, we had to do the unthinkable to survive." "Eat human corpses?" [flashback to eating quinoa] "Y...yes."
@KentWGraham: I’m glad we evolved from apes. If we evolved from chameleons, we’d constantly be walking into each other.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'm gonna be upset when HBO starts killing off Sesame Street characters one by one Game Of Thrones style.
@AndyRichter: After all this Starbucks cup controversy, if Taco Bell was smart, they'd start serving their burritos in little cardboard mangers