@13spencer: I'm sick and I'm going to work today; so if there's some kind of Contagion-level outbreak, I'm your patient-zero.
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@Marlebean: Him: Your body is like poetry Me: That's so nice! H: A haiku M:.. H: Little on the top, big in the middle, little on the bottom M: Just stop
@DomBorrett: Grandma: 'And that's how me and your grandfather chose the colour of toaster in our first home' Me: 'So you haven't seen my scarf?'
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'm no super genius, but I bet the most effective way to lose "baby weight" is to have the baby.
@SortaBad: ATTENTION: Can the owner of the 'MarioKart Champion' tshirt return to security? There are several women here who'd like to have sex with you