@13spencer: I'm sick and I'm going to work today; so if there's some kind of Contagion-level outbreak, I'm your patient-zero.
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@Westoff123: Waking on campus and some girl said, "I like you a lot." And I turned around and said thank you and realized she talking to the guy with her
@david8hughes: [police car behind me] Me: shit, was that a red light back there? My dog: like a grey Me: ... My dog: like a light grey. If that helps
@UnFitz: I was inept with girls in high school. Once I tried to unhook a bra strap and accidentally made a macramé plant hanger.
@mzeld: The worst is when you text someone and they text you back 2 hrs later but you already keyed their car and emailed their secrets to everyone.