@Black__Elvis: I'm sick and tired of all these goddamn illegal aliens taking jobs away from good, hard-working American aliens.
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@jordan_stratton: Well, lookie there. Bring a cheesecake to a gunfight and suddenly EVERYBODY wishes you'd brought a knife.
@GreenishDuck: When people start praying before a meal, I close my eyes and imagine how far I could throw a potato if I really put my heart into it.
@djdarrellripley: Me: Has anyone ever told you, you have the softest brown eyes? Her: No. Besides, my eyes are blue. Me: No wonder nobody's ever told you...