@Black__Elvis: I'm sick and tired of all these goddamn illegal aliens taking jobs away from good, hard-working American aliens.
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@mikeleffingwell: Sorry, "hella" was an inappropriate word choice. I was trying to be cool. I'll rephrase: Your son is totally missing.
@PaperWash: Getting a text from someone when I'm trying to tweet is the emotional equivalent to walking into a spider web.
@wickedblondeone: Some days, I wish I had a button to restore myself to my original factory settings