@slimmy_shady: I'm sick and tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I hit a cyclist.
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@steveolivas: Asked my wife if I was going to get a "tip" for driving her around today. She laughed and laughed. Apparently so hard, she got a headache.
@LurkAtHomeMom: The inventor of Gogurt has died. He would like you to open his urn along the dotted line and splatter half the ashes all over your shirt.
@thulnicolle: Forget drugs and sex. Parents please talk to your kids about their grammar and spelling.