@PoliticallyILL1: I'm sick of closing out every job interview with "I was young. I needed the money."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@rockymomax: MORGAN FREEMAN: I'm here to narrate your life ME: cool! [2 hrs later] MF: he's still trying to figure out the childproof cap on his Tylenol
@dafloydsta: [at the gym] ME: Hey, can you spot me? GUY: Sure, which machine? ME: *gestures to vending machine* Right over there
@KateWouldHaveIt: Before you ask me to proofread anything, know that I spent 30 years thinking "FAQs" was short for "Facts".
@TheCatWhisprer: Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don't want to look like a dork.