@PoliticallyILL1: I'm sick of closing out every job interview with "I was young. I needed the money."
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@daemonic3: Cats always land on their feet & bread always lands butter down, but spread butter on the cat's back & everyone wonders why you're naked.
@withanewname: "Yes mam that'll be $1200" "Just to remove a cassette tape that's stuck?" "Ma'm, it's in your CD player"
@krishna_van: "Give me a positive adjective..." "Splendid." "Nice. Now how about a negative adjective?" "Splendidn't."