@PoliticallyILL1: I'm sick of closing out every job interview with "I was young. I needed the money."
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@Brampersandon_: ME: I fell off a 50 ft tall ladder once GIRL: holy cow how did you survive ME: I fell off the bottom rung
@Neuronicism: If she doesn't have a new hair style by the time you're done, you're doing it wrong.
@krisv_723: Fred realized too late that he should have bought a fresh sheet for his toga, when he walked into the black light party.
@UNTRESOR: I never give money to those Salvation Army people because I know they're just gonna spend it on more bells.