@PoliticallyILL1: I'm sick of closing out every job interview with "I was young. I needed the money."
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@david8hughes: [1st date] Me: I don't mind admitting I find these fancy menus confusing. What does that say? Her: chicken Me: no, after that Her: nuggets
@ohpeetie: [ Boyfriend walks into the room ] Well, well, well....if it isn't the boy who tried to break up with me in a dream last night.
@SonoLibero_8: Guy asked if I put him in the friend zone. I was like, whoa slow down there. I'll have sex with you, but friendship is a serious commitment.
@Lisabug74: My mom sometimes texts me pictures of Buddha with an inspirational text like: "Be kind to others, Evil Lisa"