@infamousone96: "I'm single and ready to mingle"..oh god, is this why I'm still single, cuz I say shit like that?
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@KalvinMacleod: HER: I’m leaving you ME: Is it because I’m too literal? HER: no it's just we're not working out ME: *buys both of us a gym membership*
@imagine_vegas: Girl, I like you so much, I might even let you hold my phone....some day, while its locked
@Scdavis24: Getting back with your ex is like taking a shower and putting back on your dirty underwear.
@UNTRESOR: If video games taught me anything it's that you don't need to work because there's precious gems just laying around everywhere.