@infamousone96: "I'm single and ready to mingle"..oh god, is this why I'm still single, cuz I say shit like that?
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@ClichedOut: Me: You look amazing with glasses. Her: OMG thanks Me: *removes my glasses* But not so much without.
@HousewifeOfHell: [At historic site] Guide: Questions? Me: What's the wifi password? G: I meant about 19th century life. M: Oh....Dost thou have thy password?
@Book_Krazy: Me: The new guy's a lumberjack? Boss: Yep Me: He seems nice... Boss: STOP Me: I'll bet he's good at... Boss: DONT Me: random axe of kindness
@TamiDaBushPilot: I dip my pizza sticks in softened butter, so no Janet, I'm not too sure how many calories are in this milkshake.