@Duke1173: I'm sitting here watching this married couple argue in this restaurant. Then their 8 year old says "oh great, dinner and a show." Priceless.
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@jordan_stratton: I don't want to be cremated when I die. I want my body thrown on a group of unsuspecting, cocky teens in a haunted house.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: STATUS: Using the flashlight on my phone to look for the keys that are in my hand so I can open my car cuz I think I left my phone in there.
@elle91: [Interview] Boss: What's your greatest strength? Me: I'm a risk taker B: Can you give an example? M: *Passionately kisses boss* B: omg