@Duke1173: I'm sitting here watching this married couple argue in this restaurant. Then their 8 year old says "oh great, dinner and a show." Priceless.
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@BitchyJasmine: 'If u insinuate that I'm fat again, I'm leaving you!' 'Don't be selfish, think about the baby.' 'What baby?' 'Oh, so you're not pregnant?'
@SufficientCharm: Tampon boxes should come with a "It's not safe to walk around naked with a tampon string hanging out if you own a cat." warning.
@LanaAllende: Pretty disappointed that Shakespeare's Hamlet didn't turn out to be the story of a delicious tiny ham.
@SunshineJarboly: not a day goes by that i don't think about dying and then accidentally getting sent to squirrel heaven