@BDGarp: I’m sitting next to a beautiful woman at a bar so now it’s only a matter of time before nothing happens.
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@SalaciousSully: Dear Americans: It's called snow. It's cold and wet, but can't hurt you from inside the house. It has no opposable thumbs. #AskCanada
@jordan_stratton: Well, when we ordered nachos, you ate all the ones in the middle with the most cheese, but no... I have no idea who set your car on fire.
@lovemydogduck: Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger & I realize, Oh my God...I could be eating a slow learner.
@Eightinchgoat: Whoever said "The best things in life are free" obviously knew a very unsuccessful coke dealer.