@squirrel74wkgn: I'm so angry right now that I could strategically throw my phone at a safe spot on the couch.
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@turtledumplin: Why do you look surprised in all your selfies? Didn't you know you were taking the picture?
@Tmoney68: At my funeral, I'm stipulating in my will that after the eulogy is read the crowd can have 15 minutes for rebuttal, just to be fair.
@loudmouth_usa: 1) Pull black socks to knees 2) Wear sandals 3) Wear Magnum PI shorts 4) Make ball sack slightly visible -Grandpa's guide to lawn mowing
@djdarrellripley: Call me old fashioned, but I never cry in front of another man unless it's to get out of a speeding ticket...