@FreudsTwin: I'm so antisocial, i won't even meet my potential.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: Why don't we say Grace? Me: I don't know. 5-year-old: Me: 5-year-old: Is it because your cooking makes God angry?
@Amusitr0n: You, watching the (...) in the text field for ten straight minutes: he must be coming up with something deep and meaningful Me: Ham sanitizer
@smithsara79: OB-GYN: Ever consider having kids? Me: *remembers the time I heard some man tell a little girl to smile & she told him to die* Just once.