@Donnie_Fairburn: [bursts into garage]
"why is your car still on? you've been in here for 3 days"
i'm trying to kill myself
"but you drive an electric car"
@Parentpains: Name your child autocorrect, because eventually they'll just finish your sentences and correct you every chance they get too.
@Burtslorp: WHAT DO WE WANT?
Migraine relief.
WHEN DO WE WANT IT?
Yell again & they'll never find your body.
@TheBoydP: Avocados are like children. It’s important you spend a lot of quality time with them so they won’t go bad…
@ceejoyner: Can't you just live in the moment, Phil? Every time we kill a bison or light a fire you have to draw it in a cave with your fancy stick.
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