@thepunningman: [hospital]
"I'm afraid it's bad news. Your husband will never walk again"
"Oh God, he's paralysed?"
"No, someone's bought him rollerblades"
@xysist: * Gets out of a 10 year old coma * Me: Where am I? Dad: GO ASK YOUR MOTHER!
@illuminatedwndr: hey people that post selfies on Instagram and caption it 'No Filter', go with a filter next time. serious
@everygirI: boys need to work on keeping their Instagram up to date with good pics. I can't show my mom some pic of a fish you caught 120 weeks ago
@don_haworth: I made a joke about a lumberjack funeral once and got followed by a logging association, a lumberyard and 2 funeral homes
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