@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'm so confused when the TV voice before a show I'm about to watch says, "For mature audiences only." Can I watch or not?
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@causticbob: My local radio station is asking people to send in funny photographs taken when you were pissed. So I've sent in my wedding album.
@CopBroughtPizza: "even if my client did kill his wife, think of the 7.4 billion people he DIDN'T kill." - my first and last day as a defense attorney
@briangaar: A 13-pound baby was born in GERMANY?? C'mon Mississippi, this is why we keep you around
@NinjaSweatpants: Watching cooking shows makes you realize how much forehead sweat is possibly in your food