@blakeshelton: I'm so drunk right now I just walked into Canadian customs and shouted "Why y'all checkin' me?! Ur the ones with a pot leaf on your flag!!"
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@michaelianblack: The Old Testament is the historical record of the first time we Jews controlled the media.
@_ElvishPresley_: Fact if it's mother is trapped under a car, baby adrenaline gives a baby the super strength of eight babies. But that's not enough babies!
@jwoodham: GRADUATION TIP: Don't graduate! The real world is terrifying. Hide out in the library. They can't make you leave if they can't find you!