@iGreenMonk: I'm so embarrassed. I just learned that that Pringles holder on my treadmill is for water bottles!
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@TheBeerGuy73: The only time that my wife screams my name in bed is when I break wind in my sleep.
@ManvAlcohol: What happens in Vegas stays on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Vine, and medical records.
@simoncholland: Remember before Amazon reviews when you could just buy a toothbrush without 6 hours of research?
@AbrasiveGhost: Wife: u can take Max to the park but ur not gonna wrestle other ppls dogs Me in a spandex singlet: Im 16-0 Karen I have a title to uphold