@iGreenMonk: I'm so embarrassed. I just learned that that Pringles holder on my treadmill is for water bottles!
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@Sassafrantz: Making a grocery list after 8 beers is awesome because the next morning I get to wonder why I need 7000 bags of pizza rolls.
@squirrel74wkgn: Friend: How many girls did you date before you met your wife? Me: That was so long ago. Who really rememb- Wife: Thirty-seven