@JasonLight73: I'm so glad I found Twitter...I finally have a rock solid Alibi for my Google Search History!
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@JediGigi: I don't mean to brag but I'm pretty lonely for a girl with an extensive action figure collection AND a fear of rocking chairs.
@chuuew: Cop: Admit it! You killed that family Murderer: You can't prove anything... Cop: You know, you're actually called "Murderer" in this thing
@joejwest: [tattoo parlour] ME: I'd like a tattoo as a tribute to my dad. He loved gardening & now he's dead, so maybe like a skeleton mowing the lawn?