@glenyrd: I'm so glad we could finally reconnect after all these years because I'd really like your help on my virtual farm.
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@HansGrubertron: *I open the curtains with a smile, enjoying the gentle breeze on my naked body* ME: Good morning, world! CURTAIN STORE MANAGER: Call the police, Karen... He's back.
@Black__Elvis: I’m hot blooded, check it & see/ I got a fever of 103/ why’s everyone on the bus screaming/ maybe I shoulda wiped off the rectal thermometer
@erikbransteen: The #AshleyMadisonHack is getting out of hand. Site just revealed that I've been cheating on my diet. I'm not even sure how they'd know that
@MissNaughty1801: Me:what did daddy say when he broke his phone? 7y:can I repeat swear words? Me: no 7y: he said nothing then