@MikeDrucker: I'm so hungover that my thoughts sound like Sylvester Stallone.
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@UncleDuke1969: Me: Threesome? Wife: When pigs fly! Do I wish for flying pigs? Pro: Threesome Con: High bacon prices *has idea *starts building catapult
@Tmoney68: Why don't those badass UFC guys use their fighting skills to defend themselves against terrible tattoo artists?
@rantingmd: googling ways to dispose of a body,mostly to freak out the douche behind me who keeps staring at my laptop screen
@therealeatwood: CAPT. AMERICA: Merry Christmas, Hulk! Happy Hanukkah, The Thing! Er… what religion are you, Thor? THOR: Do you understand I’m an actual god