@MikeDrucker: I'm so hungover that my thoughts sound like Sylvester Stallone.
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@tastefactory: DOCTOR: You've suffered a brain injury. It's affected your hippocampus ME:What? Lol sorry I was picturing hippos at college. Who are u again
@007Pepe_Rex: [At the Grand Canyon] Me: I L o v e T h i s P l a c e [ECHO] [ECHO] GC: Let's just be friends
@ShaunRightNow: Hooker says $500. I say $50. She walks away. Later, I'm walking with my wife, same hooker sees me and says, I see what you got for $50.