@MikeDrucker: I'm so hungover that my thoughts sound like Sylvester Stallone.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@QwertyJones3: [Sci fi movie] How did you travel such a distance so fast? "I went through a wormhole." Worms in the audience: Omg this is so unrealistic.
@briangaar: Accidentally used the elephant emoji so thanks, Apple, for the next five hours of fighting
@LeBearGirdle: *Paranormal Factivity* [I walk into my bathroom] "OH MY GOD" ['WHALES ARE ACTUALLY MAMMALS' is written in blood on the mirror]