@JasonLastname: I'm so hungry I could Instagram a horse.
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@WhiskeySoured: If a bear is chasing you, don't run. Be very still and tweet about it because you're about to die.
@aveuaskew: If all the Domino's employees in the world held hands, you'd have to make your own pizza.
@dafloydsta: I'm commonly known to my friends as "that nutty guy" Haha, just kidding. Squirrels can't talk.
@TheBlessMess: My roadside emergency kit is a black wig, a disco ball and a bottle of vodka. Might as well have fun while I wait to be murdered.