@JasonLastname: I'm so hungry I could Instagram a horse.
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@clarkekant: One of the hardest parts of being a parent is discovering your 6 year old is better than you at every video game ever.
@relatabledad: "hey is that a banana in your pock--" *his pants open* *a banana steps out* *it walks towards you* *it hugs you* "u have freed me. thank u
@Snarfernini: Hello, Room service? Yes, in order to make my fort structurally sound I'm gonna need 9 more pillows brought to room 355 Bring ice cream too