@PanicRestroom: I'm so hungry that I can eat a Centaur
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@deardilettante: Him: why doesn't anyone want me? Me: I want you. Him: why doesn't anyone else want me?
@AKcrazy18: I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard. I'm going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg. That'll blow his Lil mind
@Dwarven_Cleric: People who peel the entire banana before eating it are the same ones who take off all their clothes to go to the bathroom.