@meganamram: I'm so lucky, I married my best friend!! I hope my husband doesn't find out
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@autocorrects: I don't understand why some snacks are "fun-sized", there's really nothing "fun" about having a smaller portion of food.
@bazecraze: Making fun of someone's age is like mocking them for getting hit by a train because you're standing a little further down the tracks.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Coworker: These heels are killing my feet but they're so cute. Me: These ugly Sketchers I'm wearing have insides made out of memory foam.