@meganamram: I'm so lucky, I married my best friend!! I hope my husband doesn't find out
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@juskewitch: If I see a parked car with one of those stick figure family things, I always add a sticker of myself to it and then just wait in the car.
@WilliamAder: Apparently people will pay to be subjected to medieval torture devices if you call the place a "gym."
@spcycucumber: Its not what it looks like officer! "you were driving down the highway taking selfies singing n'sync" Ok I guess it was what it looked like
@skickwriter: Saying you like a lot of meat in your taco is received differently on Twitter than it is on Facebook. I know that now.