@meganamram: I'm so lucky, I married my best friend!! I hope my husband doesn't find out
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@Brampersandon_: [Americas Got Talent] ME: *reads an opinion different than mine online without getting offended* JUDGE (under his breath): how'd he do that
@Token_Geezer: The reason the Japanese kill so many whales is because they remind them of Americans
@mulliganstewed: As soon as my daughter realizes Jamacians, Irish, & wizards don't all have the same accent, I'm probably going to get fired from storytime.
@duxynarow: "I'm so self-conscious" "I'm a very private person" "I'm the shyest person I know" *posts 43 selfies a week* - girls on Instagram