@AtticusFinch79: I'm so oblivious to someone flirting with me that if they told me to take my shirt off I'd assume it was because I spilled something on it
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@Cheeseboy22: My wife took me to the most amazing 3D movie I had ever seen last night. Half way through it I realized: we were at a play.
@hrtbps: The Grammar Nazis burst in. "We know you're harbouring Jews, Mrs Gies" "There ain't no Jews here!" "Double negative! Search the attic, boys"
@boring_as_heck: SATAN: I will tempt you into leaving the desert JESUS: Oh yeah I can't wait to get back to the place where everyone hates me and has leprosy
@AristotlesNZ: We'll take these $75 baby shoes. No need for a shoe box. We'll just let him wear & outgrow them on the car ride home.