@wickedimproper: I'm so old I thought "stfu" was a reminder to pack my "shoes, tie, fedora, underpants."
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@MorganJ7: I don't friend zone people I relationship zone them. You want to be my friend? Too bad, we're dating.
@Bob_Janke: Reports say 3 billion Yahoo accounts were hacked and suddenly 3 billion people remembered they had yahoo accounts.
@Midgetspar: If I was a police sketch artist I wouldn't listen to the victim. I'd draw a majestic gay dragon then flip it over and be all, "Is this him."
@underchilde: If you buy a Mustang and don’t rev the engine at every red light, the bank will repossess it.