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@causticbob: I'm so pro-life,
I believe life begins at erection.
@ChickenFrecklez: Crazy sister put: "I had a child very young so I had to mature quickly" on her resume once. Put her email address as MONKEYTUSHIES87 too.
@Kyle_Lippert: Me: Hey. Nice Honda.
Him: It's an Acura.
Me: All Asian cars look alike.
Him: You're racist.
Me: I bet your Toyota is good at math.
@MoistPork: 9 out of 10 men prefer a girl with a big rack. The 10th prefers the other 9 men.
@TheKrisWilson: A gingerbread man sits inside a gingerbread house. Is the house made of flesh? Or is he made of house? He screams, for he does not know.
@lynnbixenspan: I forget, are you supposed to be happy when you see their exes are ugly, or worried that you might be ugly too?