@lovemydogduck: I'm so sick and tired of my friends who can't handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me three time while carrying me to the car.
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@markedly: Spanish: The h is silent English: Many letters can be silent French: All letters are meaningless, every living thing is born without reason
@thetobbie: Dudes, how can we keep track of how long it's been since we've been on a date? I mean, women can just measure their leg hair...
@TFLN: (513): They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
@StellaGMaddox: My daughter wrote, "I will see you every day of our lives," on my Mother's Day card, so I guess we've resorted to threats now.