@lovemydogduck: I'm so sick and tired of my friends who can't handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me three time while carrying me to the car.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Try2StopME: Avoid office small talk by maintaining that facial expression between first sneeze and second sneeze.
@SPAC3CRAF: Please do not power off or unplug your machine. Installing update 45 of 9484727192873828277362517293847265127826262827262726273633833727...
@Playing_Dad: I put the tomatos and the ketchup right next to each other in my refrigerator just so all the food knows I have no mercy
@The_MartiniGirl: The sampler tester at the liquor store told me to stop coming back every hour in a disguise.