@DadandBuried: I'm so sick of everyone asking if I *really* hate my kids. They're just jokes, people. Annoying, inconvenient jokes who are ruining my life.
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@Brampersandon_: *zips up tent* [Wife]: What happened [Me,scratched up & clothes ripped]: I was uh.. *flashback to me being chased by a bee* wrestling a bear
@PersianCeltic: Anything I have ever learned about One Direction, The Kardashians and Taylor Swift has been completely against my will.
@ericarhodes: If I was a fashion designer Id call myself "who" so when celebs are asked who are they wearing they can say "Who?" "Yes who?" "Yes."