@Sassafrantz: I'm so single, I was at a bar last night and a cute guy offered to buy me a cat.
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@DrDogMD: NURSE: The other nurses and I bought you this box of chocolates for Valentines Day! DR DOG: You're joking, right?
@CanadianCyn: Mom: You need to get a hobby. Me: Like photography? Mom: I don't think stalking the garbageman is a hobby.
@1evilidiot: What's with the attitude? I don't know what's gotten into you but I know what hasn't.
@jordan_stratton: DID YOU KNOW: If every person on the planet lined up along the Earth's equator, most of them would drown.