@izrigrod: I'm so single my cat has a cat.
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@iRowlf: Lowe's banned me for yelling "From the windows! To the walls! To the sweat drop down my balls!", as I explained how much carpet I needed.
@Eightinchgoat: Some dude just asked if I was "herb friendly". I told him I like basil and dill and he walked off. Guess he didn't have thyme to discuss it.
@CheryeDavis: Saw a guy walking down the street talking to himself, hand gestures and all...So I did the right thing, stopped and told him about Twitter.
@VicFuture: Why its called 'having your period' and not 'rolling out the red carpet ' I'll never know.