@izrigrod: I'm so single my cat has a cat.
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@realHamOnWry: Twitter is considering a 10,000-character limit for tweets. Well, there goes the neighborhood.
@pleatedjeans: *gets down on 1 knee* OMG *puts 2nd knee down* WHAT? *lays on floor* JIM? *snake noises* WHAT ARE YOU DOING? *slithers out of relationship*
@krisv_723: Carol learned a hard lesson the day she forgot the word berry when googling blueberry waffle recipes.