@Prero22: "I'm so sorry", I go around whispering to people who've just woken up from a coma.
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@pleatedjeans: [spiders pour into room] THEYRE EVERYWHERE [group of tap dancers enter] ALRIGHT MEN THIS IS WHAT WEVE TRAINED FOR
@WilliamAder: The only wisdom that comes with age is knowing which stores have the nicer restrooms.
@EvilSchwartzie: In the interest of improving the workplace, my company has put up signs that say: CAUTION. OPEN DOORS SLOWLY. My best time so far is 7 min.
@KimmyMonte: Don't tell me I can hear the ocean if I put a shell up to my ear. If he has something to say to me SAY IT TO MY FACE U PIECE OF SHIT WATER