@Prero22: "I'm so sorry", I go around whispering to people who've just woken up from a coma.
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@jwomackou: [spelling bee finals] JUDGE: your word is "asterisk" KID: can you use it in a sentence? JUDGE: *adjusts mic* yes
@omgthatspunny: Cinderella was thrown off the basketball team because she ran away from the ball.
@secondofhername: What is the difference between a girl and a pool table? You have a shot with a pool table.