@Prero22: "I'm so sorry", I go around whispering to people who've just woken up from a coma.
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@hellominamoo: I'm going to take all of your tweets that make absolutely zero sense and combine them to make a Red Hot Chili Peppers song
@JermHimselfish: Treat her like she's the only girl on Earth. Nothing makes a woman happier than the thought of every other woman disappearing forever.
@TheHyyyype: ME: *tells joke* WIFE: ugh, that was funny in middle school [later] ME [at a local middle school]: so have you all heard the one about th