@WSiefford: I'm so sorry my pet rock attacked you. Its just he really hates arrogant douche bags. Thank god he only hit your face.
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@The_Sculptress: Every night when you sleep,I sneak into your house, full of desire. I then reduce the amount of marshmallowy treats in your cereal&go home.
@EndhooS: [Troy in the olden times] "WTF is that?" A wooden horse "It's not full of soldiers is it?" [from in horse] JUST TAKE IT INSIDE & HAVE A LOOK
@MelKassel: ME: do dogs think we have three mouths because we pick stuff up with our hands? VET: where exactly is your dog ME: he's uh coming later