@flamingo_poet: I'm so tired of having to think, "What would a normal person do here?"
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@robyn_vo: I just violently threw up for 6 minutes and now my coworkers think I'm the lead singer of Creed.
@Epygma: *Jesus drinking at a bar* *jesus orders another drink* "jesus you're too drunk I can't give you anymore" Kan I jst haev a water? "nice try"
@FlyoverJoel: Civil War reenactments are a lot like meetings. You do the same thing over and over again while waiting for your turn to die.
@radtoria: my cat is wearing a cone & has learned to scoop up his food and let it slide into his mouth and it's giving me serious ideas, folks