@MichaelTrying: My calendar says there's a new moon tomorrow. The old one was there for 4.5 billion years; you'd think people would be more excited.

@therepoguy: Pretty sure my refrigerator is having sex with itself from all the noises its making.

@ValeeGrrl: Just when you think parenting can't be any weirder, you find yourself consoling your son, upset that he can't get a squirrel to hug him.

@krishna_van: Been playing hide n' seek with my niece and nephew for the last three hours. I guess I should get off twitter and go and look for them now.

@jonnysun: so im jus chilig on a ledge premtendig to be gargoyle when these firemen show up tellig me dont jump but they got a big trampoline so idk