@AphroditeAfter5: I'm sorry, all I hear is your perfume
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@VodkaThursday: Once Prince dies there will be some freaky shit that comes out like he ate only butterflies or bathed in babies or something. Mark.My.Words.
@WilliamAder: My wife's been working in our garden for two solid days now. I never realized tomatoes required a big, six-foot-deep hole like that.
@joeljeffrey: When I kiss a girl, sometimes I dont know what to do with my hands, so I slow clap behind her head to make sure she knows I'm enjoying it.
@hippieswordfish: ME: *fumbling with bra* sorry im usually good at this HER: its...fine ME: *successfully gets bra off* there we go, now you take off yours