@exador86: "I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing unless you're at a funeral.
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@AristotlesNZ: Me: Baby-proofed the house like you wanted Wife: Ya? Me: Ya. Locks, fence, barbed wire, the works Her:.. Me: No way a baby's gettin in here.
@pinkmoon_33: 3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep. The other wants to know if penguins have knees.
@NoFucksWereGave: My teacher was pointing a ruler at me an said, "There's an idiot at the end of this ruler!" I got detention after asking which end.