@exador86: "I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing unless you're at a funeral.
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@garrettbarry70: Currently helping my wife looking for her favourite vase that I threw out six months ago.
@yassinovic89: Gf: am I pretty or ugly? Bf: you're both hun :) Gf: what do you mean both? Bf: you're pretty ugly.
@TheTalkingPipe: This beautiful woman is winking at me right now. Now she's using the other eye. Oh never mind. She's falling asleep.
@Blue_Crab: My BFF asked me to watch her purse while she went to the bathroom. I asked her what it was going to do. I'm hilarious. Everyone says so.