@exador86: "I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing unless you're at a funeral.
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@BakedElle: I now pronounce you internet boyfriend and girlfriend. You may put your hand down your pants and kiss your phone.
@1Happytwit: You don't need to use your words if you're carrying a machete. People just seem to figure it out.
@flashember: [Opening questions in a murder trial] DOLPHIN PROSECUTOR: You are a killer whale, is that correct? KILLER WHALE: Yes. DP: I REST MY CASE