@bridger_w: "I'm sorry, but are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" -Fun way to confuse a waiter who just suggested a menu item
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@ChipKellysBalls: I'm starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all ...
@Ivsy01: You know when motorcyclists give a little wave to each other, I do that when I see someone else eating in their car.
@Jam453Lane: Putting up Christmas decorations was a bad idea. I'm drunk and stuck on top of the house with an inflatable Easter Bunny.
@Marcmywords2: Sometimes I'll purposely spill gravy on my pants to give me an excuse to leave early. The real trick is sneaking the gravy into church.