@Underchilde: I'm sorry but shits and giggles don't sound like things I want to have happen at the same time.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@NicestHippo: [god to lions] You will be the symbol of power and prestige [sees the crickets] Ew. Uh...you guys just yell real loud when a comedian bombs
@UrbanDouchebag: Sometimes when I'm feeling lonely, I write a letter to a prison inmate to tell them how much better my life is than theirs.
@AndyAsAdjective: *walking into Home Depot for 2nd time today* Back again? Forget something? -Um, you remember if I brought a kid in here with me last time?