@Underchilde: I'm sorry but shits and giggles don't sound like things I want to have happen at the same time.
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@Angibangie: What’s the fetish called when you can only get off if Gordon Ramsey is yelling at you that your risotto is garbage?
@_coryrichardson: [first day as detective] partner: he must have drown- me: looks like he died trying to drink this entire swimming pool
@SteveToyne: 'I'm Spartacus' 'No I'm Spartacus' 'I am Spartacus' 'I AM Spartacus' 'I'm Spartacus' 'Look I just need someone to sign for the package'